Galway.

Right now I am in the 'internet cafe' of my hostel. I've been roaming the streets of Galway all morning, and luckily made it back to the hostel right before it started pouring. I had my raincoat with me, but I'm still really glad I got back here dry.

People are seriously getting on my last nerve. There is an American (I think) girl sitting here cracking up at something on her laptop. She's really fucking bugging the shit out of me. Unfortunately, I have locked myself out of my room. How that happened, I'm not sure. So now I have to sit here and listen to her shit. Seriously? Who the fuck are you? Ugh.

The girl that is running the desk right now is a relatively unfriendly French woman, and I'll have to ask her to let me back into my room. They said to keep keys on you at all times, I guess I should have paid attention. But I just went to the bathroom!

Okay, this silly bitch is about to get backhanded. More later, I'm sure.

Some more.

This morning I went to my favorite place in Belfast, Saint George's market. It was nice, but I have to admit, I like Saturdays better. It was a madhouse in there. It might have been partly due to the statutory holiday and more people being off. Regardless, I enjoyed it. I bought some feta-stuffed olives--they are SO good. I'll probably go there tomorrow, too, and get a crepe with ham, cheese, pesto, and onions. MMMMMMmmmmm. After the market I went to the bus station and figured out that there is only one bus to Galway on Monday because of the holiday, and that's at 345pm. It doesn't arrive in Galway until 1030. Maybe that's just enough time for a beer, a little planning, and a good night's rest. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Last night I went to church at Fitzroy Presbyterian, which is right next to MNI. It's where Brent and his wife's family are members. It's a small congregation, much different from First Pres back home, and I have to say that I enjoyed it. Although I don't know what to think about religion anymore, it was nice to feel a part of a community like that even for one night. There is a service at 8pm tonight that I may go to, but I don't think I'll make it. I'm for sure going with Brent and his family on Easter, and maybe having a meal there afterwards. I hope the weather is nice. Easter is always better when it's beautiful out.

Yesterday when I got up to my desk at work, I saw that Alex had left me a little thing of mini Cadbury eggs from the "Easter bunny." It's nice to feel so welcomed into groups. And the smallest things can be the biggest surprises.

ugh

I am in a state of exhaustion. I just about had a breakdown today, and I think it was because I am so tired.

Also, I am TERRIFIED that I may have to get dental work done here.

I am off tomorrow so I will go buy bus tickets for Galway and head down to Saint George's market for a while. Then home to chill out. Good Friday services at 8? Not sure yet...maybe.

Deduced to:

The police, the security, the traffic cones and no parking signs, the helicopters, the black Range Rovers....
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THE QUEEN IS HEREEEEEEEE! (And, no, I'm not imagining it)

Tea time.

Whole office tea time is one thing the Brits really have right.

A walk to work

This morning, my walk to work was interrupted many times by policemen and women sauntering down the sidewalk near Queen's University. Now, the sight of police officers has never made me feel safer, no matter where I am or where I am living. I don't know who would feel safe if their walk to work or school, normally completely policeman-free, is one day dotted with figures donning bullet-proof vests. If this were to happen at Macalester, I feel that it would be just as out of the blue, but my comfort level with the neighborhood would allow me to rest assured that if anything bad were about to go down, I would at least understand something of it from context clues.

The fact that I'm starting to become more comfortable with this area helped me to notice that there were academic-types looking at maps as though they were trying to navigate the uni and get somewhere fast, and that uni security was also really beefed up. I've deduced (mostly from reading someone's folder or something) that there was some sort of conference at the university. Though I was completely safe the whole time, the presence of the police made me extremely uncomfortable. Part of it was because of the naturally on-edge feelings I get from the presence of police officers in general, and part of it was being here in Belfast and knowing the place of the police here. Honestly, to see a bunch of men and women dressed in a hybrid of a normal uniform and military riot gear is unnerving. Policemen here are not the same as policemen anywhere else. The service is probably more contentious than a lot of different things (i.e. flags, parades) and that makes me even more wary of their presence (en masse) in the streets of Belfast.

Also a thought on the situation: Why would an academic conference at Queen's University Belfast need at least 50 uniformed police officers mulling around .5 square miles and a similar amount of campus security? Tell me if you'd feel safe...

Quiet day.

Sometimes it's really nice when your first day back from the weekend is nice and quiet. I know that I probably should make myself busy, but I like to work on things slowly sometimes. I'm such a bad procrastinator, though, and I'm worried that I'll just get tired and not be in the mood to do my Independent Study Projecct proposal later this afternoon. I don't want to wait until tonight to do it though, because I have the opportunity to talk to Mike for a long time.

I booked my hostel for spring break in Galway last night. I still have to get my bus figured out, but I spent less than €45 for three nights on accommodation, so I'm not too worried about it. I also have £20 of stipend money left over for food. Unfortunately, my bank has frozen my account for the time being because I used it this weekend. I don't really understand why they wouldn't have frozen it sooner, seeing as how I pulled a chunk out of an ATM in Coleraine when I first got here, spent a fortune at TopShop in Edinburgh last weekend, and spent $20 at a tourist center here this weekend. It doesn't make sense that they would do it now. Idiots. Also, they won't let my mom figure it out for me and I can't call internationally on my cell phone, so we have to really figure this shit out. I'm sure I could call internationally from work if I really had to, but the dumb bank should pick up the charges, not me. I'm pretty excited about my spring break. I really want it to be nice and relaxing and a little adventurous. When I get back from Galway, I will plan my May vacations and buy the tickets. I can't wait. It'll be great.

Today I had a meeting with my supervisor to go over my midterm evaluation. Every time I meet with her and have a conversation, I like and admire her more. It is obvious that she is very good at her job and very well-respected within the office and the broader peace-building community. She's a great lady and I feel fortunate to build a relationship with her.

Okay, now I'm off to do a little bit of research on American involvement in the Northern Ireland conflict and peace process. mm research.

Saint Patrick's Day in Belfast.

Not the most exciting day of my life, but seeing as how I've been acting like a bump on a log the past week or so, I think we had a relatively good time.

Last night we went out for a beer with Stefan and his housemate Tom. They were pretty fun, and we had a good time laughing and joking around. It's funny to be a group of foreigners. At least we could blame stupidity, like Stefan trying to open an un-openable door, on the fact that they're German and we're American. ha. They probably just thought we were all really drunk-- which wasn't even close to the case.

We then essentially walked the boys home and got directions back to Malone road. Well, Stefan didn't give very good directions and we ended up stranded in Stranmillis next to the river. We knew the general direction we wanted to go, but nothing looked very pedestrian friendly. I guess we looked really confused because a taxi driver that had a fare stopped to ask if he could help us. They probably thought we were really drunk, too, because they said that the area we were in wasn't a good place to be for two young women. Figures. You come to Belfast and you get yourself into bad neighborhoods thanks to a couple of Germans with bad English language skills and directional awareness. I think both Ariel and I came home not knowing what to think, except for the fact that we were really grateful to the guys that took us home and didn't charge us for the fare. Grateful is the one feeling we could identify.

I mean, I don't think we were in any particular danger at any time, but just the fact that they thought it was important enough to pick us up and take us home was a little scary. I don't know. I don't think we're going to do that again.

This morning I was awoken by my annoyingly early rising neighbors and their slamming doors yet again. They are so kind, and of a different background, so I really don't think they'd understand if I explained to them that they were being rude. So I never know what to do. I got up, got a cup of coffee and toast, and opened the window. It's an unbelievably beautiful day today so I was thankful for that. When Ariel woke up we got ready and left for the city centre to watch the parade. It was very short but nice, and I wanted to get a tricolour lei (haha) but we couldn't find them.

At the end of the parade we miraculously saw Kevin and all of the international buddies from Coleraine! It was so funny, because honestly, what the hell are the chances of that. I mean, 5000 people and we see the 5 we know? So crazy. We then went to a pub to grab a beer and hang out for a while. They went to the concert and we went to get food and after that came back home.

I'm tired, I'm in a shitty mood for some reason, and I feel bad for being such a shit to hang out with. I just feel like I have so much to do and it's stressing me out. I think travel and travel plans are really what are getting to me, and the realization that from April 21-May 21 I won't be able to talk to Mike or family as I have been here. The internet situation is going to be like it was at Coleraine (at best), and I've come to rely on the internet here to keep in close contact with Mike in particular. I don't know. I suppose it's just going to have to happen, it's just going to get to me and I know it. I'm glad that Mike's on Spring Break this week, so he and I can probably talk whenever I have time.

I hope things continue to be at least okay. I'm not happy here, but I'm not particularly sad either. The warm weather is a blessing and keeps me from getting depressed. I'll be going to church for Maundy Thursday and Easter and to Galway for three days during Spring Break. At least I hope. I haven't really bought tickets or booked the hostel yet. I hope to feel good enough to do that tonight. Seeing Kevin and Timbeau was really nice, and i don't know if they'll want to hang out tonight. I know that there is no heavy drinking in my near future, so this Saint Patty's Day is already a world apart from last. Considering I don't have a roommate, I probably won't be walking in on her having sex on the floor. That's a positive. HA!

Just because.

I don't really know who reads my blog, but I have a slight idea. To you that do read it, please know that nothing in here is meant to piss anyone off or offend anyone.

This will never be my best piece of writing and I rarely even think twice about what I put in here unless I think it might hurt someone. So this is fair warning. Basically, please don't be offended because nothing is written to offend.

Wishing it were Friday

Another day at the office. I'm starting off my morning eating a cherry scone and drinking coffee. I was so tired when I woke up this morning, but I managed to get out of bed and talk to Mike. It was a nice conversation, and he's such a trooper for waking up at 3am to talk.

Today Laurie is meeting with Nigel at 10 and I am meeting with him after that, with ten minutes for a chat with both of us. I guess it'll help the morning go by a little faster, plus, Brent's not here and Rob is leaving for a meeting, so I might have the office to myself for a while.

Last night I finished my resume and cover letter for the American Irish Historical society, Hannah is looking over it this morning, and I plan to send it off today. I really hope to get that internship, and hopefully it won't be too difficult to get my job at AE transferred over to NYC. I don't know that I'll be making enough money to pay half the rent, but I sure hope so.

Hopefully today will go by quickly, because I want to take a nap. My weekend looks promising, but I'm not going to be able to sleep in too much Saturday. Ariel and I are going to an all-you-can-eat buffett tomorrow night, following that I'll be able to talk to Mike for as long as I want, Saturday morning we're going to go to the market and then Victoria's square. Sunday I'm not sure, maybe a resting day and also some time to get something together to send home, and Monday we'll go to the Saint Patrick's Day parade here in Belfast, maybe with Stefan and his housemates.

Hopefully today isn't too long of a day. My body and mind are very tired.

So this is irritating.

Being involved in an organisation like Mediation Northern Ireland is a wonderful experience. Though I feel like my involvement here is kind of half-assed. I was asked to go to a meeting in Ards with ex UVF men to talk to them about their work with mediation. Unfortunately, this meeting is on March 19 which is our day of class in Derry for the week. I emailed Nigel to tell him that I had to miss class to attend this meeting, and he doesn't want me to miss class.

This is so annoying. I hate that I was signed on to do something half-assed for this organisation. I don't want to miss this meeting because it will be essential to my project for MNI and very helpful for the GSP, too. I don't really understand what's so important about going to the Fountain estate. Sometimes I feel like this program takes up far too much time for what I get out of it. We will have to leave the Elms at like 7 in the morning and won't get home until at least 7pm. Plus, we have to drop £13 of our own money for the bus. I'm sorry, but to me that's more trouble that I want to go through for this stupid program.

Northern Ireland: Democracy and Social Change is very carefully designed and Nigel has put a lot of work into it, but I don't understand why this one day of class is more important than a meeting that is significant for both my internship and my study project. I just don't get a lot of things, I guess, and this is one big one.

I'm tired. I'm tired of a 9-5, and I'm tired of stressing out over stupid shit to do with this program.

Edinburgh

"You say that like such an American Ed-IN-Bor-OUGH"
"Well I've said it a million different ways and each time I'm looked at funny, so I've started to not give a shit."
---

Such was the beginning of my work week. After getting lost on the way to work because I couldn't see out of my contacts. This week has just been GRAND so far. And it's only Tuesday, I know it's just going to get worse.

Edinburgh was ridiculous. It was beautiful--much prettier and more historic looking than Belfast--and it was very European. A much different feel than Belfast, I'm not sure which I liked better. The people were nicer, albeit harder to understand, but it seemed tame compared to Belfast. Everything here feels so volatile and Edinburgh was much more laid back.

The weekend was exhausting. After traveling for about 7 hours by bus, ferry, bus, bus, and foot, we ate dinner and sat around for awhile before heading to Becky's to drink and hang out while waiting for Ariel. When Ariel arrived we drank some more and decided to go out to a club. It was the most fun I'd had in a while. The men in Edinburgh were much more interested in Ariel and I than the men here seem to be, and the guys we danced with were all pretty respecful and the one I got was actually a good dancer. The music was AWESOME. Unbelievable, actually. Nothing I would have danced to in the states, but everything I would listen to. We got home at about 5am and went to bed pretty soon after that. I think I woke up at 945 or 10 and Ariel and I went to get coffee.

After Hannah woke up we went and got some (cheap) lunch. Then we went to do some sightseeing/shopping and I bought the jeans I've been lusting after for 2 weeks. I was so tired and feeling completely run down, so we headed back to take a nap.

Haggis and mashed potatoes were in our future for dinner, so I rested up and prepared my stomach. Honestly, the way I was feeling told me not to do any drinking, but I knew it was in the cards. It doesn't really seem like they do much else in the UK.

Dinner was great, we drank too much, almost killed a girl while in line for the club, got in, hated the club, wanted to go home and sent a few desperate text messages as I was just about to black out from drinking so much. Then I got into a shouting match with a bouncer and we all went home in terrible moods. I'm glad I didn't end up losing anything, because I was so drunk that I wouldn't have even known I'd lost it.

I woke up early again on Sunday because, apparently, my body hates me and sleep. The ride home was a blur because I took dramamine and it knocked me the fuck out. Class yesterday was also a blur because I think my brain was in sleep mode. Or maybe I just killed one too many brain cells over the weekend.

All in all, Scotland was lovely. I would have liked to experience more of it, but I don't think I could have taken one more day of the events we took part of. I also don't think I'll be drinking that much again for a very long time. I didn't even get sick, I just didn't remember a good chunk of my weekend away.

It was good to see Hannah and make a new friend in Becky. It was also nice to try new things and experience Scotland in a way that most tourists don't. I do wish we could have seen more, but due to the weather and lack of sleep, none of us were really up to it on Saturday and we didn't have another day for it.

Okay, back to work for now. ha.

I love Ariel.

Love love love love love her.

Week 5. over.

I spent a lot of money today.

Well, maybe not A LOT, but more than I needed to, and more than usual.
I bought:

1. A chocolate all-butter croissant. Totally awesome for the waistline.
2. A postcard and a greeting card.
3. Mini salt and vinegar flavored rice cakes, and
4. Postage for the postcard and greeting card.

Probably all together only about 5 quid. But that's more than I'm used to spending on a normal day. I'm stoked I just got my tax return, though.

It's been better here since I started at Mediation Northern Ireland, and I'm starting to feel like I can get away from the other people on the program and just live a life abroad. I really hate that I'm forced to be so close to the people that suck asshole (I have a whole blog dedicated to this saved to my drafts, but I don't know if I should publish it). It's nice to hang out with Rob (and Mairead when she's not in Berlin, Stefan, Ariel and Ira. I think we might do that again tonight, too.

I want the spring to kick in. I wish I were somewhere where I could see the baby lambs all of the time. THAT would be ideal.

Tomorrow I go to Edinburgh to see Hannah!! Ariel is coming, too, but she's going to get there later. I can't wait to see a familiar face and to introduce Hannah to Ariel. It'll also be nice to explore another city and get away from particular fucktards. I'm so happy that someone as close as Hannah is as close as Edinburgh and that it's only costing me £33 to get there and back. I'm more than excited, and I'm happy that Peter/Laurie/Rob are kind enough to give me time off when I ask for it.

Thank God I'm not as worried about money anymore. This would be a nightmare if I was on as strict of a budget as I thought I was.

Current feelings (on a scale of 1-10):
STRESS 4
EXCITEMENT 9
ANNOYANCE 5

EDIT: Ugh, I just calculated that I ate about 440 calories-worth of biscuits alone today. Jesus Christ. I'm going to be 600 pounds by the time I get home.

I love this organisation.

Fáilte go Béal Feirste

Welcome to Belfast.

Gaelic is a fascinating language, and, I'm sad to say, isn't much like English or Spanish. DUH. But, yeah, "Fáilte go Béal Feirste" means "welcome to Belfast."

This weekend was a good one. Friday night I had the first REALLY good time since I've been in Northern Ireland. Good people, good pub, good beer, good walk home. There were even people handing out coffee and chocolate on the side of the road at 130am. Fuck yes.

Besides allowing myself to be a hostile bitch to my boyfriend, it was a fantastic night. If it can stay like this for the next 7 weeks I'll be very happy. The people at my internship kick some major ass, and I'm happy that I could introduce Ariel and Ira to them.

For next weekend, I am planning to visit Hannah in Edinburgh with Ariel. Hopefully it all works out and it doesn't break the bank. :)