ugh

I am in a state of exhaustion. I just about had a breakdown today, and I think it was because I am so tired.

Also, I am TERRIFIED that I may have to get dental work done here.

I am off tomorrow so I will go buy bus tickets for Galway and head down to Saint George's market for a while. Then home to chill out. Good Friday services at 8? Not sure yet...maybe.

Deduced to:

The police, the security, the traffic cones and no parking signs, the helicopters, the black Range Rovers....
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THE QUEEN IS HEREEEEEEEE! (And, no, I'm not imagining it)

Tea time.

Whole office tea time is one thing the Brits really have right.

A walk to work

This morning, my walk to work was interrupted many times by policemen and women sauntering down the sidewalk near Queen's University. Now, the sight of police officers has never made me feel safer, no matter where I am or where I am living. I don't know who would feel safe if their walk to work or school, normally completely policeman-free, is one day dotted with figures donning bullet-proof vests. If this were to happen at Macalester, I feel that it would be just as out of the blue, but my comfort level with the neighborhood would allow me to rest assured that if anything bad were about to go down, I would at least understand something of it from context clues.

The fact that I'm starting to become more comfortable with this area helped me to notice that there were academic-types looking at maps as though they were trying to navigate the uni and get somewhere fast, and that uni security was also really beefed up. I've deduced (mostly from reading someone's folder or something) that there was some sort of conference at the university. Though I was completely safe the whole time, the presence of the police made me extremely uncomfortable. Part of it was because of the naturally on-edge feelings I get from the presence of police officers in general, and part of it was being here in Belfast and knowing the place of the police here. Honestly, to see a bunch of men and women dressed in a hybrid of a normal uniform and military riot gear is unnerving. Policemen here are not the same as policemen anywhere else. The service is probably more contentious than a lot of different things (i.e. flags, parades) and that makes me even more wary of their presence (en masse) in the streets of Belfast.

Also a thought on the situation: Why would an academic conference at Queen's University Belfast need at least 50 uniformed police officers mulling around .5 square miles and a similar amount of campus security? Tell me if you'd feel safe...

Quiet day.

Sometimes it's really nice when your first day back from the weekend is nice and quiet. I know that I probably should make myself busy, but I like to work on things slowly sometimes. I'm such a bad procrastinator, though, and I'm worried that I'll just get tired and not be in the mood to do my Independent Study Projecct proposal later this afternoon. I don't want to wait until tonight to do it though, because I have the opportunity to talk to Mike for a long time.

I booked my hostel for spring break in Galway last night. I still have to get my bus figured out, but I spent less than €45 for three nights on accommodation, so I'm not too worried about it. I also have £20 of stipend money left over for food. Unfortunately, my bank has frozen my account for the time being because I used it this weekend. I don't really understand why they wouldn't have frozen it sooner, seeing as how I pulled a chunk out of an ATM in Coleraine when I first got here, spent a fortune at TopShop in Edinburgh last weekend, and spent $20 at a tourist center here this weekend. It doesn't make sense that they would do it now. Idiots. Also, they won't let my mom figure it out for me and I can't call internationally on my cell phone, so we have to really figure this shit out. I'm sure I could call internationally from work if I really had to, but the dumb bank should pick up the charges, not me. I'm pretty excited about my spring break. I really want it to be nice and relaxing and a little adventurous. When I get back from Galway, I will plan my May vacations and buy the tickets. I can't wait. It'll be great.

Today I had a meeting with my supervisor to go over my midterm evaluation. Every time I meet with her and have a conversation, I like and admire her more. It is obvious that she is very good at her job and very well-respected within the office and the broader peace-building community. She's a great lady and I feel fortunate to build a relationship with her.

Okay, now I'm off to do a little bit of research on American involvement in the Northern Ireland conflict and peace process. mm research.

Saint Patrick's Day in Belfast.

Not the most exciting day of my life, but seeing as how I've been acting like a bump on a log the past week or so, I think we had a relatively good time.

Last night we went out for a beer with Stefan and his housemate Tom. They were pretty fun, and we had a good time laughing and joking around. It's funny to be a group of foreigners. At least we could blame stupidity, like Stefan trying to open an un-openable door, on the fact that they're German and we're American. ha. They probably just thought we were all really drunk-- which wasn't even close to the case.

We then essentially walked the boys home and got directions back to Malone road. Well, Stefan didn't give very good directions and we ended up stranded in Stranmillis next to the river. We knew the general direction we wanted to go, but nothing looked very pedestrian friendly. I guess we looked really confused because a taxi driver that had a fare stopped to ask if he could help us. They probably thought we were really drunk, too, because they said that the area we were in wasn't a good place to be for two young women. Figures. You come to Belfast and you get yourself into bad neighborhoods thanks to a couple of Germans with bad English language skills and directional awareness. I think both Ariel and I came home not knowing what to think, except for the fact that we were really grateful to the guys that took us home and didn't charge us for the fare. Grateful is the one feeling we could identify.

I mean, I don't think we were in any particular danger at any time, but just the fact that they thought it was important enough to pick us up and take us home was a little scary. I don't know. I don't think we're going to do that again.

This morning I was awoken by my annoyingly early rising neighbors and their slamming doors yet again. They are so kind, and of a different background, so I really don't think they'd understand if I explained to them that they were being rude. So I never know what to do. I got up, got a cup of coffee and toast, and opened the window. It's an unbelievably beautiful day today so I was thankful for that. When Ariel woke up we got ready and left for the city centre to watch the parade. It was very short but nice, and I wanted to get a tricolour lei (haha) but we couldn't find them.

At the end of the parade we miraculously saw Kevin and all of the international buddies from Coleraine! It was so funny, because honestly, what the hell are the chances of that. I mean, 5000 people and we see the 5 we know? So crazy. We then went to a pub to grab a beer and hang out for a while. They went to the concert and we went to get food and after that came back home.

I'm tired, I'm in a shitty mood for some reason, and I feel bad for being such a shit to hang out with. I just feel like I have so much to do and it's stressing me out. I think travel and travel plans are really what are getting to me, and the realization that from April 21-May 21 I won't be able to talk to Mike or family as I have been here. The internet situation is going to be like it was at Coleraine (at best), and I've come to rely on the internet here to keep in close contact with Mike in particular. I don't know. I suppose it's just going to have to happen, it's just going to get to me and I know it. I'm glad that Mike's on Spring Break this week, so he and I can probably talk whenever I have time.

I hope things continue to be at least okay. I'm not happy here, but I'm not particularly sad either. The warm weather is a blessing and keeps me from getting depressed. I'll be going to church for Maundy Thursday and Easter and to Galway for three days during Spring Break. At least I hope. I haven't really bought tickets or booked the hostel yet. I hope to feel good enough to do that tonight. Seeing Kevin and Timbeau was really nice, and i don't know if they'll want to hang out tonight. I know that there is no heavy drinking in my near future, so this Saint Patty's Day is already a world apart from last. Considering I don't have a roommate, I probably won't be walking in on her having sex on the floor. That's a positive. HA!

Just because.

I don't really know who reads my blog, but I have a slight idea. To you that do read it, please know that nothing in here is meant to piss anyone off or offend anyone.

This will never be my best piece of writing and I rarely even think twice about what I put in here unless I think it might hurt someone. So this is fair warning. Basically, please don't be offended because nothing is written to offend.